KEY FACTS - Best behaviour for successful relationships when negotiating

Key Fact: Skilled negotiators ask twice as many questions as average negotiators.

• Skilled negotiators are very keen to understand the other party's position and explore all possible options for reaching a successful agreement. They ask questions to discover the reasons why positions have been taken, to seek proposals from the other party and to gauge reactions to proposals they’ve made themselves.

Key Fact: Skilled negotiators tend not to say "no" directly.

• Instead of saying "No I can't agree to that because of X", skilled negotiators say, "If we do that, how will we deal with the problem of X?" Rather than "A 20% price increase is impossible", they are likely to say, "Are you really asking me to pay 20% more in the present climate?" This use of questions as an alternative to a direct "no" can help prevent conflict and generate further discussion, which might help to resolve the problem.

Key Fact: Skilled negotiators are twice as likely to test their understanding of what the other party has said than their average counterparts.

• Skilled negotiators are very keen to ensure there is total clarity about what’s been said or what’s been agreed. They use phrases such as "Can I just clarify, when you say X do you mean …?" or "When you say you can't accept X, do you mean all of X or is it possible to move on some elements of it?" As a result, skilled negotiators reach agreements that have a much stronger track record of being implemented successfully.

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